Do I belong here?

This quotation, from an article about cross-cultural ministry, stuck with many of us today: "If you have come to help me," said anonymous Australian aborigine woman, "you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." Other writers and ministers I respect have voiced similar convictions, that true freedom is derived in the reciprocal serving of people from different cultures, who receive from each other and work together to find healing. But I confessed to the group that from my perspective, these words seemed like merely a big mysticism. Was there power to this quote that was based in concrete experience. Would I come to find this liberation in Lancaster? Is this an experience God is leading me in this summer?


Today has been a strenuous day. Getting lost in the neighborhood on a run - almost. Orientation with the Transitional Living Center I'll be working at. More learning about ministry and race. Finishing the day with a viewing and discussion of the movie Gran Torino. During a break, one of our team asked me a simple question: "How are you?" and I responded by telling some about the questions I've been asking these first three days of our program:"Do I belong here?," I've been asking. "This isn't my city. This isn't my neighborhood. Will I accomplish anything of value? Is it selfish to ask these questions?"

As I reflected in this moment, I began to see that these questions and concerns are not dissimilar from those that I ask myself often. It seems that wherever I am - home, Bucknell, abroad, I am always worrying over the dreaded question, "Do I belong?" Am I alone? Can I trust others to accept me?

I suspect that this is an area in which Jesus wants to work on my heart this summer. Maybe this is the liberation that I hope to experience. Maybe this is the freedom I hope to find serving and receiving at the Transitional Living Center. But do I trust this neighborhood, this city of Lancaster to accept me? Do I trust that Christ has me here for a reason, and that I do not need to be inhibited by my old fear of not belonging?

Father God, I trust my life to you this summer, as I continue to learn from you and all your people. Amen.

Throw a little color on it

Earlier, in the heat of the day, some us were practicing what is becoming more normal - sitting on the front porch. It is in this ever-forming routine that we sit and wait until the two kids next door come by, curious to know what we're doing. Over the previous days, we would need to be quick in forming fun games and conversations with the kids but today, we got a break - sidewalk chalk.

On the one piece of land connecting the properties together on the block, the sidewalk is quickly becoming the place to gather, not just when we're overflowing from the porch, but it is also where many neighbors are seen smoking a cigarette, talking with friends and family, and running around playing games. So with the popular and colorful chalk today, some nostalgic games were formed - hopscotch, tic-tac-toe, and sidewalk art.

It was amazing in the few hours we spent this afternoon. What was once the place where people walked and gathered, now transformed into a place where laughter and creativity was developed. What was once a drab, yellow piece of concrete became a colorful piece of community. Praise God that a little creativity and small piece of chalk can bring such big smiles to the children of the street.

Check out this video of Nick doing hopscotch for the first time!!

A Firefighter's Miracle

  Okay, so it is day numero dos of Sidewalks. So far so great, because these people I will be living with for these next weeks are fantastic. God has blessed me yet again with amazing people in my life. I guess I shouldn't be surprised because having awesome people in my life seems to be a theme.

Rather than run through the whole day I will share a tad about the sweaty hellos we did today, while exploring the city. Well, I was with David today walking through the Sahara of Lancaster. By the first 30 seconds, we had some sweat beads dripping off our noses, ha. We walked to a park to eat our bagged lunches, which I was so entirely ecstatic about because PB&J is one of the best sandwiches ever.

The 'Sahara' sidewalks of Lancaster

After David and I enjoyed our park brown bag lunches, we came across a man cleaning the exterior of his car. We were sort of nervous to approach him and start up conversation because that sort of thing can be uncomfortable, but God gave us a push to do so. This man was friendly right away and wasn't shy about sharing his story with us. He had been a firefighter in New York for 27 years, and has lived in Lancaster for 6 years. Anyways, God was so apparent in his life because when his son was 5 years old, he was diagnosed with spiral meningitis and it didn't seem that his son was getting any better. The man was sleeping at his son's bedside in the hospital as he had done for 3 days straight. On the 3rd night, the man couldn't sleep because he was so upset and stressed about his son's condition, and the man came across an elderly custodian while walking the halls of the hospital. The custodian told him not to worry and to just have faith.

The next morning his son was running around and playing in the hospital hallway. The doctors could not come up with an explanation to this miracle, but it was obviously a God thing. The man asked the doctors about the elderly custodian, but the oldest person on the custodial staff was 50, but the custodian the man had seen the night before was definitely at least 80 years old. This man was convinced God had heard his prayers and had given him a miracle by healing his son.

David and I were astounded by the beauty of this man's story. Because this man was so open and willing to share, David and I were encouraged to keep on greeting other people along our hot and sweaty walk.

I could go on and on about my day, but this is a blog, so not the best idea. All in all I am doing wonderfully, and I thank you all for your prayers =)

Fans Are Beautiful Things

So I'm sitting at the dinner table with this beautiful invention in front of me: a fan. Since stepping out of my car into Lancaster city, I've been sweaty. Not like the a-little-dark-spot-under-the-armpits-sweaty that makes you consciously remember to not lift your hands up or do the wave in the near future. But more like constantly being in a state of stuffy, hot sweat. Kinda gross, right? Definitely not the ideal scenario to meet people for the first time or to make first impressions. And with people I will be spending six weeks with -- living and breathing and interacting together.

The real sweaty David that probably (alright, definitely) smells is a persona that I'm not crazy about. The persona I want to project is the clean-cut, not sweaty, not smelly, good-looking guy with an easy smile who doesn't wipe his brow every five minutes. But right now, that's not me. That is not the real, true me. I can't avoid my sweat, my grime, my uncleanly state.

This six weeks I'm going to learn a lot. I'm anticipating learning a lot about myself and being confronted with my faults and weaknesses and the dirty, smelly areas of myself. And that sounds nice and good and admirable conceptually. I'm sure when it happens it will be scary and confusing and not particularly fun. But it's true and I'll grow.

Jesus, help me be brave enough to engage myself these six weeks.

P.S. Mom and Dad -- I totally forgot to text you that I arrived safely in Lancaster. So I'm here!

A Surprise on the Sidewalk

It’s the first day of Sidewalks for staff, and I’m feeling good. Today I was walking down the street, and I saw an elderly man with tan skin walking very slowly. He was weighed down on his right side by what looked like

a very heavy bag. I assumed that along with the the physical load that he was hauling, he was probably carrying many emotional burdens. As Danny, Andrew and I promptly passed him on his left before a large tree in the sidewalk, I made sure that I acknowledged him. Even as we swiftly brushed by him, I made sure to look him in his eyes, even just for a brief second, because I wanted him to know that I believed he had dignity. I wanted him to know that even though he didn't really look “important”, I believed that he had value. So I said “hello”. And then I turned away and kept walking forward.

When I was already one or two paces ahead of him, I heard a surprising response. The old man called out to me with compassion in his voice “God bless”. It caught me by surprise. I thought I was the one with something to offer him. How could a man who walks like that offer me something, anything? I have much to learn in the city, from people I might never expect to learn from. What would I have learned from him if I had approached him wanting to learn from him, instead of feeling like I am the only one with something to offer?

Life happens on the sidewalk. And that’s where I’ll spend my summer. Learning that I have much more to receive than I have to give.

False Narratives

As our staff team of 4 gathered today in Lancaster to prepare for Sidewalks together, we concluded the day by watching the movie Crash together.  WHAT A MOVIE!?!

I am struck by how the characters in the movie are put in situations that cause their false narratives to quickly bubble to the surface.  I even wrote down how some of these underlying false narratives connected to their stereotypes and racism.

• 'affirmative action stole my father's life' - so now I have to do what I can to steal life back
• 'my instinct was to cling to my husband as the black man walked by, then he hijacked my car' - see I was right about them
• 'once I was assaulted by a man' - now I know I can't ever trust that man
• 'my son wasn't there for me once' - so it couldn't have been him who helped me

Our view of E. End Ave.

On some level, you can't fault the characters for arriving at their conclusions. On another level you see in the movie how false narratives and stereotypes left unchecked can lead to painful, broken situations.

Although the average day does NOT involve car crashes and gun point situations, it DOES involve combating false narratives.  It makes me wonder what twisted truths are tucked away in my heart as I come to Lancaster?  What past events have jaded my current view of a certain ethnic group / men or women / the elderly?  What lenses do I have on as I walk the sidewalks of Lancaster?

My prayer tonight is that God would highlight my false narratives this summer and replace them with HIS narrative of truth!

More to come..... Students will join us on Wednesday!!!!

hidden blessings

Last week I was sitting in the reception area of Water Street Ministries' health services, waiting to talk about the internship details for the two nursing students who will work there this summer. Someone walked by another woman waiting there and complimented the woman's clothes. Turns out that woman made her outfit - she ripped up an old pair of jeans, using bright yellow fabric for patches. The yellow fabric came from an old shirt, which she turned into a cool, modern summer shirt with several sets of straps (my description isn't doing it justice).

I ended up talking with this woman for 10 minutes, admiring her work, hearing about how she makes the clothes, and about how you can buy jeans like hers for $50 or $60 at the mall. She told me she was handed a needle and thread when she was 4 years old. Her grandkids and their friends are always asking her for customized outfits, which she enjoys making (but wishes the kids were interested in learning how to do it themselves). We commiserated together about how many people buy things new and throw them out when they are barely worn, which contributes to our financial problems and the issue of having more trash than we know what to do with. When I described a small hole that was developing in a less-than-ideal place on a pair of my jeans, she told me how to fix it.

What I thought was a business visit turned into a lot more. It was a thoroughly enjoyable 1omin. Gotta love the blessings that come from interacting with new people. In fact, it's probably worth viewing every stranger as a hidden blessing.