What is this you call....? By Paul and Joacim

Sidewalks this year consists of the host, Bret and Betsy. Oh, and let’s not forget about the over excited and unruly dog Potter the schnoodle. Add onto that nine slightly deranged college students, and the two abnormal IV staff members. Sidewalks is an urban emersion project of which mostly only… ugh… “non-colored” college students participate. For most of the students living in an urban setting is a new concept, but for two of the student it’s not. Paul and Joacim are two Inner-city, Hispanic, males. For them, the foreign concepts are… well… not the same as their counterparts. In fact let’s make a list of these foreign concepts:

What is this you call Lists?

What is this you call Quiet Time?

What is this you call silent reflection?

What is this you call different… not weird?

What is this you call reading for fun?

What is this you call Sabbath… ugh… without daylong retreats in Church?

What is this you call three meals a day?

What is this you call fasting from economic system, technology, and communication in general?

What is this you call blogging?

What is this you call vulnerability?

What is this you call journaling?

What is this you call conflict?

What is this you call talking to other people about your problems?

What is this you call BORED games?

What is this you call budgeting?

What is this you call physical boundaries?

There are some aspects of Sidewalks that are not foreign to Paul and Joacim:

Living with large amounts of people

Cooking for large amounts of people

Sharing a bathroom with large amounts of people

Being surrounded by large amounts of people

Cleaning the mess of large amounts of people

Doing laundry for large amounts of people

If both these list are carefully analyzed one would conclude that this cross-cultural experience has not been easy for either party. In other words it’s a surprise that they did not kill each other at times. However, coming in contact with everybody in the house has been an important experience for both Paul and Joacim. They have concluded that the experience has been beneficial in both knowledge and spiritual growth. Through these bonds that have been formed, they believe that their lives have benefited. Being in a house with people of different cultures and backgrounds truly is a blessing disguised as a trial. The conflicts that arose due to cultural differences have led to a greater appreciation for other cultures.

As Paul and Joacim made the “What is this you call…” list they have come to the realization that testing these boundaries has led to a deeper relationship with Christ. Quiet times, Sabbaths, journaling, and so many other things pointed out on the list have lead to a greater appreciation for the way in which God works in their lives. It was once said –if you want to see God in a way you have never seen before, do something you have never done before. And they have met God in a different way thanks to the cross-cultural experience.

Kingdom, come!

"Meeting the Kingdom" painting on Bret and Betsy's basement wall

"The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to provide for those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit. They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, to display his glory. They shall build up the ancient ruins, they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations... For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up, so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations."    - Isaiah 61

This particular Isaiah passage sprouted some powerfully beautiful images in my head of what God has planned for His people. From destruction comes restoration, the reversal of grief and shame to rejoicing and gladness, and the good news is that Isaiah is not just talking about what happens after death or when Christ returns with his kingdom. Yes, for sure the Kingdom is coming and we all wait in anticipation for the completeness of Jesus's work in our hearts and in our world, but right now we can make way and experience kingdomly aspects while we wait! 

Our eyes are starting to be opened to some things that we need to be involved in with Jesus. Things that God revealed to Isaiah. Bringing good news to the oppressed, to be one with the brokenhearted, proclaiming liberty, releasing prisoners...those aren't just nice phrases! Our team is talking about racial oppression that is still very real today, we're talking about people who are being enslaved to make the products we hungrily consume each day, we're talking about the homeless, depressed, and mentally ill that make up much of the city's population. What exactly are we going to do about these things? Right now, I don't have a whole lot of ideas. But, again, good news! We are anointed to assist God in releasing, proclaiming, comforting, and providing. We're anointed to help change the world. A bit overwhelming, but a little exciting right? 

That's where my painting came from. I often daydream about what God's kingdom is like. But when I read this passage, I didn't just picture God's kingdom coming on a cloud in a bright light...magically making everything better. I saw the lamenting of God and us for what the earth has become, and a plan for the earth to meet the kingdom in an unexpected way. From the tears comes healing and hydration, from the trashed and polluted ground comes new flowers, fresh fragrances, new fruit. The ruins are being rebuilt, and the tall oaks set the stage for the coming kingdom. I see an exchange of sorts.

 We have been discussing about serving the people around us, and we've read a few articles about the 'blessing' of being the 'giver;' you know, the one that hands out the food, gives away free clothing, gives a meal, provides a shelter... These services are not bad, but a few authors have pointed out that there is an element of dignity and pride missing on the receiving end of these exchanges. By giving and not receiving, we are telling those people that what they have to offer is not valuable or worthy. We've read about alternate services where the receiving people get to contribute something as well, so that there is mutual receiving and generally more joy. For example, at a clothing store a person can pay a dollar for a bag of clothes, and if he can't afford the dollar, he could work for a few hours at the store to receive the bag of clothes. When he receives the clothes, he feels as though he has done something to earn them. He could even possibly be employed full time to help run or clean the store. Joy, dignity, and pride can be shared between the giver and the receiver. Perhaps God has something similar in mind. Of course, God definitely has the power to change things without our help. But he wants our help, so that a similar mutual joy can be shared between God and his people. Can you imagine what it would be like to be a part of releasing slaves? Or to give hope to someone whose ancestors have been oppressed generation after generation?

I painted a picture of what hope looks like to me. While the ruins are being rebuilt, and while the ground continues to receive fresh healing water, we can see the immediate results of kingdomly transformation (the new flowers sprouting from the ground and around the oaks) while we look forward to the glory and fullness of God's kingdom. This is what fuels me to seek out the oppression and injustice Isaiah often speaks of, so that I can be a part of the releasing, comforting, and proclaiming that God has anointed us for. 

I pray that you will be excited, too. I pray that the intense rays of a sunset will be a small taste of the coming Kingdom, where the "city has no need of light, no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of the Lord is its light, and its lamp is the Lamb." - Rev. 21:23 Amen!

Where Have You Seen Jesus Today?

Betsy posed this question as we sat around the dinner table, discussing our daily endeavors. Witnessing our Redeemer in action may seem difficult, especially if one hardens their heart. Truthfully, I had not witnessed Jesus here in the city until two weeks ago.

Every Thursday, Robby and I work in the Men’s Ministry department at Water Street. During our orientation, we learned that we would spend this time interacting with the men in the Ministry. However, our advisor is very hard-working with many things on his plate.  As a result, he sent Robby and me to help accommodate for the hefty workload. We helped indirectly, by maintaining the facility and helping however our advisor needs us.  However, this meant that we weren’t interacting with the men as we had expected.  We became frustrated, until realizing that, as a missionary, it becomes easy to fall into the trap that “everything revolves around you and your mission”. This false narrative then obscures the actual mission, inviting frustration.

Two Thursdays ago began with frustration to spare. Instead of the anticipated interacting with members of the Ministry, we were sent to carry two dozen cardboard boxes, each filled with computer supplies, downstairs to a large wheelbarrow outside. We were to empty the boxes into the already-filled wheelbarrow, bring the wheelbarrow around the entire complex, empty it into a large dumpster, bring it back, load the boxes, and empty them into their respective dumpster, all in the sweltering heat. To us, this seemed like busy work.

Just as we filled the wheelbarrow to well-beyond its maximum capacity and began our journey to the dumpsters, a man emerged from the Men’s Emergency Shelter, eager to help. We had never seen this man before, but we assumed he was staying in the Shelter. Robby and I watched in amazement as the man scraped off the top layer of computer supplies, put them into one of the boxes, led us to the dumpsters, and proceeded to take control of our task. After the man transported the wheelbarrow’s contents to the dumpster, he brought it to a washing station and thoroughly cleaned the wheelbarrow in between loads; something I would have never thought of. He then proceeded to bring the wheelbarrow around the entire complex, and instructed us to take the shortcut.

The many boxes lay there, awaiting our return. We watched again as the man led us in flattening the boxes and transferring them to the newly-cleaned wheelbarrow. He then made a makeshift dustpan from one of the boxes and swept the remaining debris for us. Once we were ready for the second trip, the man turned and personally thanked us for allowing him to help. Robby and I were dumbfounded. He had served us the entire time and there he stood, thanking us for the opportunity. He walked away, leaving us there, questioning what had just happened.

As the day went on, I thought back to a discussion about angels one of our pastors shared with us. She told us of her personal encounter with an angel. The angel found our pastor in a dark time in her life and reminded her of God’s love.

The nameless man we encountered seemed to have a similar purpose as the angel, even if unintentional. By taking charge of our task and altering our perspective on the chore, he showed me the underlying reason why God brought us here.

Instead of helping the homeless and providing for them, their ability to help us restores their hope that they have something to offer. God works in funny ways, even through people. Two weeks ago, Christ revealed Himself to me through a man seen by the world as worthless. Christ disagrees, displaying this man’s potential and willingness to help.

A few weeks ago, God provided for us through food dropped off by friends in the community. One of these food items was a large container of pretzels that lasted through several nights of ‘snack time’. One night, as we lamented for the brokenness of the city, I noticed the container of pretzels in the center of the room. I cried out to Jesus for restored hope in the city. We had a seemingly endless supply of pretzels, while hundreds in the city wondered where their next meal would come from. I prayed for the opportunity to hand out the pretzels to those in need.

A week later, at Outreach Ministries, Jesus answered my prayer. After a tiring day of reaching out to members of Water Street, we began to head back to the house. I hadn’t gone too far before a couple on the street noticed the enormous bag of pretzels I had planned to bring home from Outreach. I asked if they wanted any, and found myself distributing pretzels by the handful, exactly as I had prayed for.

Sidewalks has opened the eyes of my heart in constantly seeking God in every interaction and wholeheartedly depending on Him to answer my prayers. I cannot wait to bring this tangible spiritual dependence back to campus with me in the Fall. I need to constantly remind myself to continue seeking transformation and understanding that He hasn’t finished with me at Sidewalks yet.

Pre-emptive Worship

The first time I went to church at In the Light Ministries, I did the dougie. For me, doing the dougie in church = dream come true. Technically though, they called it the “douglass.” And technically, it was at a young adult event called Cross Culture, which is aimed towards getting young adults involved in cross-cultural worship through their artistic talents such as singing, dancing, and spoken word poetry. Part of the service involved participants volunteering their definitions of worship, which included the idea that worship focuses on the way we live our lives daily, and that worship centers on Spirit and truth. God used In the Light Ministries to begin showing me many facets of worship. 

One of my best friends at home told me that when she thought about Heaven, she thought about us hanging out and doing the same types of things that we do now, but just completely basking in God’s presence in every way possible, and with a full knowledge of God. I was thinking about what she said one day while a bunch of us Sidewalkers were hanging out in the living room, and I had one of those spiffy moments where I thought, “Hey, hey, I can’t wait to be doing this in Heaven with all of these people!” But then I thought, hold up, eternity includes life right now!

This kind of shift in thinking has been a theme for me during Sidewalks. My tendency is to focus a lot on how awesome it is that we can spend forever with God, and getting as many people to get the chance to know God personally as possible. This summer God’s been opening my eyes more to the fact that he’s doing his redemptive and restorative work right now, and that what we do to partner with him today is actually a huge part of what it means to be living in the fullness of the gospel.  

God’s been calling me to worship him, right here and now in a lot of new ways this summer. Our community has practiced replacing the “I” and “me” words in our worship songs with “we” and “us” in order to focus on what God is doing in us as a whole. He’s called us to lament, as seen in Kacy’s blog post last week. This week at Water Street Ministries we prayer-walked around the ministry campus a few times, both lamenting and calling out to God in pre-emptive worship for what he will do, which is a something we saw in Isaiah 61:11: “For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations.”

 

Sidewalks has already been a huge gift to me in so many ways. Interning at Water Street Health Services, a free health clinic for those under the 200% poverty level, has been AMAZING and the community we’re all living in together is so refreshing. It feels like every day I get a little bit more of a glimpse into what it means to know Jesus and worship him here.  I’ve also noticed God calling me into a quiet worship this summer, continually reminding me to spend time with him, and to rest on the Sabbath. Whether it’s doing the dougie in Church, listening to the patient’s stories at Water Street Health Services, or just enjoying community, God is breaking into my life and my team members’ lives daily here. I can’t wait to see what he does for the next couple of weeks. Cue pre-emptive worship.

Do you think it’s a blessing that I’m here?

Maybe fifteen minutes into my Monday morning shift at Water Street’s Outreach Mission (the relief branch of the ministry), I meet Gerald and his aggressive sarcasm. The first thing he says to me is, “You- You stand over there and just shut up. Do you think you can do that?” 

I can tell he somehow means it as a joke because he’s laughing but it just feels unnecessary and mean to me. And uber-confusing.

But he’s the one leading the organizing efforts so I can’t do anything but step aside and wait for instructions. Gerald continues: “Oh sure, stand right where I’m about to put this pallet.”

I’m shocked and definitely feel my eyes stinging at that. So I turn to pack potatoes into bags as I try to make sense of the interaction.

This was not how my day first started out.

My day started out with a rare & refreshing chance to pray before my shift. As I groggily choked down black coffee I prayed, writing, “I’ve got these people around me. Jesus, will you teach me through them? Will you show me how to love them? Will you help me to freely enjoy them today?” (Enjoying people has been a theme for me.)

But Gerald has effectively thrown me off.

While packing potatoes, I get singled out again. Gerald shouts over to me, “What’s your name?”

I give him my name with a smile, trying to lighten us up, but he gruffly asks, “Do you think it’s a blessing that I’m here today, Becky?”  

My mind races. I do logically believe that he is a blessing to Water Street, but I wouldn’t say I feel like it at that moment. I’m pretty sure my jaw drops a little revealing because he snickered. So I determinedly answer, “Yes. Yes I do.”  But I also ask back, “Do you think it’s a blessing that I’m here, Gerald?”

And he replies back in kind, “Yes I do.”

So we just had this moment but I’m still feeling pretty confused. Memory of my morning prayer pops into my head. I had asked God to teach me to enjoy people today. Enjoy him?? I flash at God – “Are you mocking me?”

I take a breath and think, “Okay, God. I’m going to love him.”  

So I wait for the next opportunity, for Gerald to walk by. And when he does, I warmly (and somehow sincerely!) ask him where he’s from.

It turns out he’s from West Chester, of all places! And his son graduated with me in Downingtown. We actually have a number of things in common. So now, he keeps up the sarcasm and taunts, but not quite as nasty as before and I decide to just taunt right back. I’m not all meekness, I’ll have him know!

At some point he turns to me and asks how long I’ve been sober. I stumble through some awkward answer but his question begs to be reciprocated so I ask him right back.

And there, in the middle of bagging up milk pints, he tells me his story – drinking, attempted suicide, being institutionalized. And he confides in me: “Water Street, you see, they’re a Christian ministry and all but they butter everything up. If you want to talk to someone who won’t butter everything up, you can talk to me.  I’m Christian too – I’m Catholic. But if you need to talk, I’m here and I’ll tell it like it is.  No bulls__t.”  

And then Gerald repeats himself very seriously and I feel my eyes begin to sting (for the second time that morning) because now I’m being cared for by this abrasive man.  

We keep working together a bit – me wiping the counters and him making his taunts and jokes, and though it's certainly not my sense of humor, I realize that I am enjoying this guy. It stuns me when that thought comes to my mind. I'm speechless as I realize how God guided me through this morning – to a place of enjoying this man!

Today, God showed me His character. He’s out for me – really out for me – and doesn’t want to just teach me something trite about loving people. Nothing so easy for me. I asked him to grow something Kingdomly in me and he took my prayer seriously, guiding me on a rough road so I really got it. It wasn’t mocking – it was care.  How bizarre and seemingly-backwards that a painful morning is how God chose to show me he cares!  

Yes, Gerald, it was a blessing that you were at Water Street this morning.

Lament, Disturbance, and a Beautiful Reality

About 20 minutes after I sat down across from Janet, she decided to lift her eyes from her newspaper, pull out her phone, and show me a picture of a young, smiling boy standing awkwardly next to a flower pot.  I met her in CHOC (Community Housing Outreach Center), a segment of Water Street Mission where homeless people can reside, play games, use the phone and the computer, and build relationships with each other during the day. Janet looked over her glasses at me and pointed at the picture.

“That’s my son.”

Janet is twenty-eight, though she appears to be older from the deep, black and blue circles around her eyes. I noticed the wedding ring on her ring finger.

“Where is your son now?” I asked.

She looked back down at the newspaper lying limply on the sticky table in front of her.   “He was adopted.”

She yawned and got up from her chair.

Water St Mission

It is precisely at these moments that I feel utterly unworthy to be in the presence of someone without a home.  I merely look into their eyes to understand that I know nothing of that which I call pain, joy, faith, trust, loss, life, and love.  I am extremely disturbed by the tension between my life and the people’s lives at Water Street.  Countless times, I have met people who have worked at my college, Franklin & Marshall.  It was uncomfortable to see a 40-year old immigrant from Italy talk about making pasta for me and my fellow privileged F&M peers who most likely had no idea of the poverty of his life.  I admit that I have privilege; a social and economic status associated with me that the people in CHOC do not have and could never have.  The people in CHOC are those who did not have grandparents who could afford a down payment on their parent’s house so that their parents could save for their children’s college education.  They do not have family or friends who they can ask for money when in crisis.  These people lack any kind of economic safety net other than a non-profit homeless shelter. When their rent fund runs out, they have nowhere else to go.

I hear the endless stories and I lament. I lament that fathers and mothers like Janet cannot have the basic right to raise their own children.  I lament the captivity and the yokes of drugs and alcohol and the hopelessness of these family generational cycles of poverty.  I lament that our culture expects an individual to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, and make a living in a capitalist society that makes the poor more poor and the rich more rich.  I lament that the poor are marginalized by their own human race, and I lament that social stereotypes and statuses deny people the basic right of dignity.  I admit that, in some form or another, by not shopping fair trade or avoiding a homeless person on the street, I have contributed to their marginalization.  I lament - and like Nehemiah whose heart broke for Jerusalem, I came home from Chapel one night, sat down, and felt like weeping.  I felt helpless, naïve, angry, confused, sad, and overly ideal.

~~~~

This past week, the tension between my life and the lives of the people at Water Street has slowly dissipated.  After talking with one of the women in the Women’s Ministry program, Mary, I realized that she struggled with the same problems that I struggle with, yet at a more extreme level.  Our conversation began as countless other conversations that I have had with people at Water Street, where I am listening, nodding, and affirming, while the other person is pouring out their life story.  Yet, our one-way conversation soon turned into a discussion about both of our lives, as we realized how much we have in common and the problems we share. Hearing her story, her wisdom, and the ways that God has transformed her is unbelievable. The people at Water Street are those who may be economically poor, yet they are spiritually rich with wisdom and experience.  They have nothing of worth that America recognizes, yet they possess the greatest capacity for perseverance, and from that, faith and hope and love. They are people who can sit in ripped Spiderman pajamas reeking of body odor with a few dollars in their pants pocket, and yet, who can say that God is good and that He will provide as they has seen countless times before.

One of the pastors of the church we attend came to our house and gave her testimony.  She described her past life of prostitution, drug addictions, loss, and violence, and somehow, through all of that, God blessed her with a healthy body without diseases. Today, on the same streets where she used to sell drugs, she now preaches the living Word of God.

The city is a diverse, creative, and dynamic place where God shows up in diverse, radically creative, and dynamic ways. The people and their testimonies have begun to transform me and my image of God.  I will end with the words of Pastor Michael from Water Street, who told our group what I believe to be a prophetic phrase: “I want you to know: the city will steal your heart.  It will steal your heart and you will never be the same.” 

Isaiah 58

Sabbath Reflection

Every Sunday is Sabbath.  We study Isaiah in the mornings, eat leftovers, and worship in the evenings.  We rest, reflect, play frisbee and generally enjoy each other and God.  Here are a few pictures to give you a window into what we're reflecting on. 

 Last week Becky led us in studying Isaiah 58 - she taught AND drew at the same time!

 Our artistic renderings of the promises in Isaiah 58.

"Can we find Scripture references for everything we're talking about?" asked Lizzie.  Absolutely we can!  We made a huge chart: creation, fall, redemption, restoration across the top; relationships along the side: people-God, people-people, people-creation, and people-themselves.  The chart overflowed onto 2 pages, containing mostly Genesis, Mark and Isaiah references (we're good InterVarsity students...) with some Paul and Revelation thrown in for good measure.

 Two watercolors done by Rhi from our front porch

A drawing done by a boy part of the team met on relational ministry day - he was so excited!

Dessert!  

Last week we discussed if sabbathing includes resting from spending money (so you don't make others work on the sabbath, taking a break from the economic system, etc).  Some of us really wanted to go to the bodega and get some ice cream.  And then we realized that every Sunday, someone has given us a great dessert!  This week it came in the form of a cake mix, which Joacim just baked.  

The Lord provides....