When I did a project much like Sidewalks several years ago,
I remember going home and telling my mom excitedly, “I learned to do conflict!”
(Her first reaction was confusion- I probably should have said ‘conflict
resolution’.) I was excited because I learned that conflict, when done well,
brings deep intimacy in friendships.
Something mysterious happens when you’ve hurt someone and
you go to them in humility (or embarrassment!), choking out that scary admission:
“I was wrong.” Or when you’re the one who’s been hurt and you’re gracious and honest.
God can get at those exposed
places. That sort of friendship was unlike anything my college-student self had
before experienced. So I was eager to share how I had learned about conflict.
Other recent Sidewalks alumni held similar fervor. They enthusiastically
told members of our team, “You’re doing Sidewalks? Awesome! You’re going to do
conflict!!” So our group
approached this hyped-up but rather scary idea of conflict together. Imagine day
three of Orientation: as we waited to hear out speaker, Alison, I could almost hear the unspoken
objections. Doesn’t conflict mean you’re
doing something wrong? Isn’t that the opposite of Christian community? It’s
much better to be polite and quiet, right?
But Alison reassured us, “It isn’t about conflict, really.
It’s about becoming.” We’re all stuck
in a rock tumbler this summer. And our sharp edges are going to be rubbing
against each other’s sharp edges. That’s good news! God’s inviting us to let
our gritty selves be exposed so he can deal with us. Together.
Would you take a minute now to pray for our rock tumbler
community? We’ve jumped in, but we’re not yet letting each other see our
gritty-sharp edges. That’s going to take some nerve. Praise God.
Hey guys!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I remember when started to discuss conflict because I wasn't too keen on doing conflict. As I look back on it I can definitely say the Lord opened my mind and heart to the right way of going about conflict. My prayers are with you all =)
*A special shout out to Amy, Rob, and Josh! Woohoo York College... even though I don't go there anymore, ha
-Emmy
If this were Facebook, I'd like this post.
ReplyDeleteYay conflict! That was definitely the hardest part about Sidewalks for me, but I learned a lot and I'm still learning. Two nights ago I had a conversation that lasted until 7am Sunday morning--how good! I was able to bring up some conflict and even though it's not resolved yet, it was a really good start. I know it takes courage to be vulnerable, especially in front of the whole group, but it's worth it! I'll be praying for you guys : )
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