This quotation, from an article about cross-cultural ministry, stuck with many of us today: "If you have come to help me," said anonymous Australian aborigine woman, "you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." Other writers and ministers I respect have voiced similar convictions, that true freedom is derived in the reciprocal serving of people from different cultures, who receive from each other and work together to find healing. But I confessed to the group that from my perspective, these words seemed like merely a big mysticism. Was there power to this quote that was based in concrete experience. Would I come to find this liberation in Lancaster? Is this an experience God is leading me in this summer?

Today has been a strenuous day. Getting lost in the neighborhood on a run - almost. Orientation with the Transitional Living Center I'll be working at. More learning about ministry and race. Finishing the day with a viewing and discussion of the movie Gran Torino. During a break, one of our team asked me a simple question: "How are you?" and I responded by telling some about the questions I've been asking these first three days of our program:"Do I belong here?," I've been asking. "This isn't my city. This isn't my neighborhood. Will I accomplish anything of value? Is it selfish to ask these questions?"
As I reflected in this moment, I began to see that these questions and concerns are not dissimilar from those that I ask myself often. It seems that wherever I am - home, Bucknell, abroad, I am always worrying over the dreaded question, "Do I belong?" Am I alone? Can I trust others to accept me?

I suspect that this is an area in which Jesus wants to work on my heart this summer. Maybe this is the liberation that I hope to experience. Maybe this is the freedom I hope to find serving and receiving at the Transitional Living Center. But do I trust this neighborhood, this city of Lancaster to accept me? Do I trust that Christ has me here for a reason, and that I do not need to be inhibited by my old fear of not belonging?
Father God, I trust my life to you this summer, as I continue to learn from you and all your people. Amen.
John-
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate and respect your realness in this post. It's a question that many a person struggles with but does not have the courage to ask or admit that they have qualms. My prayers are with you and your growth in this spiritual journey.
-katie janda