Receiving or taking???

I like security, and I like things that make me feel secure. I like seat belts, daytime, my dad, predictability, and internal calm. I've always tended to shy away from that which is difficult and unsettling. And oh boy--I have felt unsettled about a lot of things the past few days. But by the grace of God, I want to take a bolder approach this time. I want to dive into these unsettling things headfirst, because I think God is going to meet me there. He already has.

I felt particularly conflicted walking home from my first day of work at Water Street Mission this afternoon. Just as my program leaders had predicted earlier in the week, the workers at the Mission stated that I should be prepared to receive a lot from the people of the city. Sounds amazing, right? It is. But the prospect of receiving from the people I want to serve caused a deep unsettling in my mind and heart.

How can I receive from those I am trying to serve? Isn't loving across social boundaries a one-way street? If I receive and learn from those I interact with, am I not stealing away some of their life? If I put myself in a spiritual position to receive from these people, don't I miss the opportunity to give away spiritually? How do these people ever experience the love of Christ--how can I give that--if I am receiving from them?

As He often does, God spoke awesome truth to me as soon as I got these charged questions out on the table. I think the prospect of receiving unsettles me because I believe that there is only a certain quantity of life in any given relationship. This life is transferable, but its size remains constant. "Giving," to me, has always meant transferring some of the life I have to another individual. When I serve, I sacrifice some of the life in me by sharing it with another. From this perspective, if I allow the tables to be turned and I receive from those I meet in this city, I will soak up what life they have. That certainly doesn't sound like serving to me.

However, I see there is something seriously wrong with this view. God is not in the business of limiting life. He is the Creator. He creates life. He multiplies it. He expands it. So giving and receiving in relationships is exactly that--giving and receiving. It is not giving and taking. In sharing my life and receiving life from the people I meet, God causes life to grow in both of us. Wow--that's cool!

Creator God, help me to freely give and freely receive Your life as I meet and interact with the people of this city. Amen.